ok - yeah, I know. The movie´s been out a while but I just saw this a couple of nights ago on my movie channel. All I can say is - thank the holy mother Mary that I did not spend a single dime on this piece of shit.
I did not manage to watch the whole thing - snatched up a few bits here and there - a total of about 35 minutes. Let me say this - it was more than enough to come to this conclusion: what a piece of crap!!! Multiply those exclamation marks by a random number - it still isn´t enough. This movie is so unbelievably bad. Everyone in it is bad. EVERYone. It is such a turkey and everybody losses all their feathers so that you got a bunch of plucked naked sad chickens running round at the end, in fact they all lose their feathers pretty fast, making it a painful spectacle for almost the whole movie - from Robin Williams with his saccharin-sweet-puke-inducing Colonel whoever the hell he played-because-I-really-don´t-give-a-shit-anyways, Owen Wilson, Ricky Gervais (I mean, honestly, did he accept the role to break into US cinema?! - talk about a uninspired strategical move) this turkey is just pure offensive awfulness.
I mean, whats the message of this film? That history is "alive"? "colorful" "vibrant"?
um, maybe, well, yes, I agree with that - but the movie sure as hell didn´t carry that over. What did carry over is the complete and utter incompetence of the director, the screenwriter and all the actors. It was such a turkey to begin with - even the noted actors couldn´t lift it. The end - oh man, Ben Stillers´expression as he looks down lovingly on his museum - all I wanted to do was slap him. Like all the time. Too bad he wasn´t torn limb-from-limb right at the beginning. Or the train ran over his head, smashed his face or something. It would have saved everyone the torture of enduring all the bad acting and storyline that a 2 year old would find dull. Ok, well, maybe a 2-year old look up a couple of times before continuing to hammer the square into the round hole.
Was this supposed to be a Jumanji of the new millenium? No comparison. Jumanji was fun,mystical, imaginative, clever, - it was all the things this was not. And the theme was about innocence that you never have to lose, no matter how old you are. And the message actually was delievered in a somewhat linear way.
Ok - I actually had to read other reviews to find out what this particular movie is trying to tell me: in a nutshell: loser husband/father wants to prove to his kid - that yes, I am awesome and not a loser. Hokay....well, that did´t work, now did it?
Oh, and I just realized Robin Williams is supposed to be Teddy Roosevelt. What? Wasn´t he confined to a wheelchair? Whatever.
All I can say is that this is a dvd you should not buy. Buy Jumanji instead.
Below an example of a delusional woman person.....and her opinion. This was on IMDB....hello??!
"What a cast! Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Robin Williams, Dick VanDyke, Mickey Roney, Bill Cobbs...
I'm not a Stiller fan, but in this one he was really great, he steps out of his usual shtick to really anchor this movie. For once he doesn't seem to be trying too hard and avoids overdoing it. (personally, I think my friends goldfish would have given a better performance)
This is one of Robin Williams' better modern roles, he's toned down but still quintessentially Williams. It was nice to see him in a role that he can both take seriously *and* have some fun with it. (one of his better modern roles? He played a historical character for chrissake)
Owen Wilson is still awesome, basically reprising his Shanghai Noon character, but with a cute, rather unexpected twist. yeah, he was a little person. And luckily din´t get to witness too much of him.
Dick Van Dyke, Mickey Rooney and Bill Cobbs are classic, they haven't lost a step. Rooney is still the little bantam rooster with the attitude! Van Dyke clearly anchors the trio. Cobbs wasn't given much to work with for his character, but his quality shines through. These veteran comedic actors bring a bit of class and legitimacy to the film...........bla bla bla
This is an entirely enjoyable family film. My 87 year old grandmother-in-law loved it, as did my 9 year old daughter and my teenage sons! Truly something for everyone."
ok - soup-for-brains-lady-person - your 87 year old grandmother must be suffering from dementia. When afflicted with that particular form of brain worm, you enjoy just about anything, like for example, drinking fire extinguisher foam. Something for everyone if you are completely devoid of gray mass.......then yeah. Or if you´ve been lobotomized.
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